Monday, 25 May 2015

a loong looong post

Yooo I am backk~

Many things had happened since the last time I post

Well, I got into T4YP at KLPAC and is going for practice every Tuesday and Saturday by LRT and KTM apparently..

Also, I learned that "Doing something valuable" would be my new life aim.

Instead of "Follow your passion" well.. okay it's because I had accepted the fact that my passion doesn't correspond to what I am good at.. 

"Do what you are good at" is also shitty though, cause what I am good as is not what I want to do for the rest of my life though.

"I want to travel the world." It was my childhood dream.
"I want to help people." Something I never picture myself doing it, it was never in my bloodstream.

Maybe it's a destiny, in order to fulfill my dream, I'll have to do something good in exchange.

well, I personally think that other than dealing cocaine, everything is fine to me.

What about being an actress, well it was my dream and I guess I could still continue it part-time as from what I see now.

The first subject that I found I have vast interest in, is International Relations, when I visited Monash.

Then, it somehow developed into PR cause people ask me what the fuk is IR heh.

I almost signed up for IR under the ehwa scholarship cause I was recommended by the Korean embassy, but I mistaken it, it was for Korean studies.'

before that, I almost signed up for PR under Korean government scholarship but it just didn't work out.

They were the darkest moment in my life, WERE, but I guess its all great now.

I got fake hope about being an actress, which I turned myself down to pursue after knowing some insides, not really though.

filming was fun, theatre is hard, but just somehow the future I see for my path went dim..

AANDD just by the time I got all devastated, HUFS came.. with a IDS hahaha

International Diplomatic Scholarship by Hankuk University of Foreign Studies.

WAIT. I haven't really got the scholarship YET.

There will be an interview this Saturday via Skype and a test interview on Friday.

It's Tuesday midnight now, and I am nervous.

I don't find much to prepare and I am scared that I might regret not preparing enough though.

I will try to record myself down on Wednesday.

I tried Skyping with yiqing today though, and I found a great spot and got some 'view' advice from her

That was a pre-pre-interview skype though or a pre-skype interview testing's testing. I don't know what I am talking about please excuse me hahaha

I told them English was my native language, well technically it is I would say.

Although I speak English at home, but I was English Educated and I speak English with my friends.... AT KLPAC.. fkin chs is full of smart arse Chinese speaking people

I ACTUALLY THOUGHT THE WHOLE WORLD KNOWS HOW TO SPEAK CHINESE..
because all races in chs speaks Chinese TT.. I'm doomed, by my ignorance aiks.
Well, it's okay I think my speaking skill is improving but though, I will not say English is my second language since I speak it since small and.. I JUST DON'T THINK IT IS

like gosh, I never learned it externally and I use it since small, I prefer reading and writing in English,  prefer conversing with strangers with English, I have all my examination since Kindergarten with English

JUST BECAUSE I'M FROM A CHINESE FAMILY AND LIVE IN MALAYSIA..

..I think they wouldn't believe me, oh gosh, I must do well in the interview to prove myself.

well, I hope that the interviewer is not American, or with American accent, cause... well, it's not that I dislike it, but yes I dislike it, thanks Joe for influencing me in a... is it a bad way? I DON'T KNOW

Why do I love Caps that much in this post. It feels like I'm shouting the words out and it's cool.

I hope my love to work in International Organizations that provide student exchange programs, volunteering abroad programs would come true though.

I want to work in different regions in the world, and I believe that HUFS would really help me with that, and by being a successful social worker I could make the school proud heh
'sudden thoughts or interview scripts that just pop out from my mouth, no, keyboard, erm.. fingers or nails, I'm using them to type so... let's just get over it hehe

I hope to get a scholarship, and I am applying for it, my mom wants to pay, and her dream of me not getting allowance came true, she wants to pay for me to live in a dorm and her dream came true too,

now I just really hope that I could get IDS, it would be my second life,

yes, after slacking for sooooo long heh.

I didn't really though, just these few weeks after the Penang trip I would say.

I kindna enjoy life, and I think it's great not really 'I could had done more.
Oh no! bro is going to sleep! I am going to be left alone in this dark stormy night! I shall go.. go where? sleep! No! I don't want to! what should I do?

Well, technically, I shut my laptop up went to wash my face and brush my teeth and continued practicing my interview until 7a.m.

now it's 12p.m. and I had just rescued joonie from a hiatus in my bro's room hehee
I'll have to get a blazer for my interview so off I go to prepareeee

(psh I'll make a make up tutorial later to prepare for my interview hahaha




Friday, 27 March 2015

GOD - Road lyrics


Nae-gah ga-nun ee gil-ee uh-deero gah-nun-ji uh-deero nal dae-ryuh-gah-nun-ji gu go-sun uh-deen-ji...
I don't know where this road is going... where it's taking me.


al su upjiman... al su upjiman... al su upjiman...
Though I don't know, Though I don't know, Though I don't know


oh-nuhl-do nan guh-ro-ga-go een-nae...
I seem to be walking the road again today.



Saram-duh-run gil-ee da jung-hae-jyo een-nun-ji ah-ni-myon
Do people have roads already, and if not,

 jah-gi-ga ja-shin-ae-gi-rul man-duh-ruh gah-nun-ji... do they make the roads they go on?

al su upjiman... al su upjiman... al su upjiman...
Though I don't know, Though I don't know, Though I don't know


ee-roh-kkae ttoh guh-roh-gah-go een-ne...
I seem to be walking the road again like this.





 
Nah-nun wae ee-gil-ee suh-een-na ee-gae jung-mahl nah-ae gil-eel-ka...
Why do I stand on this road? Is this really my road?


ee-gil-ae kuh-tae-so nae kku-mun ee-roh-jil-ka...
Will my dreams be on the end of this road?





Mu-o-shi nae-gae jung-mal gee-pu-mul joo-nun-ji...
What will really bring me happiness?


dohn een-ji.. myong-in-ji.. ah-ni-myon nae-ga sarang-ha-nun saram-duhl-in-ji..
Money? Honor? If not, the people I love.


ahl-goh ship-ji-man... ahl-goh ship-jim-an... ahl-goh ship-ji-man...
Though I want to know, Though I want to know, Though I want to know

 
ah-jeek-do da-bul nae-ril-su up-nae...
I still can't choose my answer.





Ja-shin-ee-kkae na-ae gil-ee-gah-go.. mal-ha-go.. ship-go guh-ruhl-kkae meet-go
I want to say this is my path with pride


doh-ah-boh-ji ahn-kko... hoo-hae-do hah-jee an-kko...
I want to trust that and not regret


gut-goh ship-jiman... gut-goh ship-jiman... gut-goh ship-jiman...
Though I want to walk like that, Though I want to walk like that, Though I want to walk like that


ah-jik-do nah-nun ja-shin ee up-nae...
I still don't have that pride yet






Nah-nun wae ee-gil-ee suh-een-na ee-gae jung-mal na-ae gil-il-ka...
Why do I stand on this road? Is this really my road?

 
ee-gil-re kuh-tae-so nae kkum-un ee-roh-jil-ka...
Will my dreams be on the end of this road?





Nah-nun mu-oh-sul-kum kkoo-nuhn-ga... guh-gohn noo-gul wi-han kkum-il-ka...
What am I dreaming? Is this a dream I want?


gah kku-mul ee-ruh-myon nahn oo-sul-su ee-ssul-kka...
If I live that dream, will I be able to laugh?


o~ ji-gum-nae-ga... uh-di-ro... uh-di-ro... ga-nun guhl-kka...
Where am I walking now?


nah-nun mu-oh-sul wi-hae... sara-ya... sara-ya-man ha-nun-ga...
What is this that I'm living for?


nah-nun wae ee-gil-ae suh-ee-na
Why do I stand on this road? Is this really my road?

 
ee-gae jung mahl nae gil ee kkah
Will my dreams be on the end of this road?


ee-gil-re kuh-tae-so nae kku-mun ee-roh-jil-ka
What am I dreaming? Is this a dream I want?


Nah-nun mu-oh-sul-kum kkoo-nuhn-ga guh-gohn noo-gul wi-han kum-il-ka
If I live that dream,


guh-kkum-ul ee-ruh-myon nah-do oo-sul-su ee-ssul-kka
will I be able to laugh?



Well, I had just copy and modified the pattern of the lyrics (will add Hangul to it soon!) because this song portrayed my feelings now accurately and well also because I love god and the song a lot hehe

will further modify the lyrics and add colors to it off to do my Korean language homeworkkkkkkk!

Wednesday, 11 March 2015

Slacking so....

Well banana peals or whatsover keke

So I'm currently learning korean in klh, trying to audition to go into KLPAC's T4YP 

filming for short films and working some part-time job to earn some pocket money
 and get free samples xD
 
 well I had just created a Ssyannelf blogspot to secure that nobody would steal my domain ahaha
 
why? because I want to record my life in Korea in words with pictures and also to upload my videos in youtube :P
 
wow I sound so sure that I could go to Korea ahaha well I hope so and I'm living like I surely can go now
 
so please don't dissapoint me god TT
 
I'm currently working hard to apply for KNUA's AMA Scholarship weee
 
and I super duper hope I could get it cause it's my childhood dream to be an actress
 
like I choose PR last time because it's close to celebrity
 
but well my real dream is to become one because I LOVE acting
 
and dancing too ( I'm just a poor bathroom singer sorry ahaha
 
well and here it comes an once in a life-time chance infront me to pursue my dream
 
woooo! thanks knua! hahaha (if I manage to get in or not rawr
 
well I shall not slack now tmr is thursday then friday (the only 2 days left to study because I wasted yesterday n today xD
 
monday I went to film as some side character
 
(all I did was having fun dancing in the club xD
 
or also could be said as I went for clubbing in the morning ahaha
 
(with le buddy accompanying me thanks!
 
Saturday I will be going to learn to drive and I'll use my afternoon free time to prepare for my audition in the Sunday
 
Sunday I will study korean and go for KLPAC's T4YP Audition~
 
then next week I'll study for Korean and my undang test.. hope everything goes well!
 
and oh ya my friend called me to cast for his new shortfilm yayy! although I'm not the lead xD
 
He says that that character suits me so <3
 
nowadays I always dream about being hug really tightly by someone
 
I think it's some reflection from my real life but I still can't figure it out hmm
 
or maybe I'm just despo for hug since my big doggy is not here to hug me anymore TT
 
well going to cut my nails and start studying again!
 
gonna update here once in awhile and if I get to go korea I will change to the ssyannelf blog to update purely on my life there!
 
(nonsense will still be posted here xD 'i guess' keke
 
ok keumman annyeong~!

Wednesday, 24 December 2014

Dreamless hottest beautiful banana elf

Sook Yan


wow i jz finished the god of bath house srsly it started out as a comedy but in the end it's all so gamdong TT

n quite educational like ya no matter how crazy your dream may seem jz chase it even if it doesn't really fits into the society

to what ppl expect you to be doing

well ok i want to go wm n be jinyoung hoobae xDDDDDD or jyp or cube got 2pm n beast

wthhh srsly educational is educational i'm not going to say i can't acheive the crazy dream

but srsly it isn't so easy it's not like i have the talent the age and the shape

aiks sometimes fairy tales shall jz remain as fairy tale

even if i get to be in wm it's not like i can date jinyoung TT

baek is a legend of legend ToT shin

well atleast he is korean, good in singing n hensum~

ottoke kpop is my only passion now what else should i do with my life ToT

well i wanna be a youtuber too xDD
 
everytime aft finishing 1 webtoon you will hav so many thoughts abt life n you just can't carry on with the new world....

aiks it's like everytime when i read abt something my passion chges

but i had recently made a quote to myself it's like

even if you like burritos it doesn't mean you have to be a burrito

but then now coming to think of it

if i don't become a burrito what should i be?

hmmm will i even regret studying mass comm in kdu?

even though many portals they say they offer the best mass comm in MY

ahh it's like i'm studying it to fit into the society kindna dreamless now

Friday, 24 October 2014

It had been awhile heh

Helloo my bananas xD
Ahh I had made up my mind a little for now and I think I should really work hard on my studies ;>

But actually if its about following my interest being happy or studying for what I'm planning ahead but studying something I am not really interest in suddenly bothering me urghh...

Firstly, I would really love to study public relations in Korea so I can work as a PR there and enjoy what I love doing as in (yeshh meeting celebrities okaay xD) and getting involved in the entertainment industries (what I hoped to be in since small!)

Or, I'll study in Monash the bachelor of business and commerce double degree with communication. By that, I would be working hard on trying to be an entrepreneur that bring in korean university into Malaysia, welll that's what I hope I will be doing but it requires a lot of money and time I'll need to use my life to bet on it and I will have to give up my dream as a fancy pr living more comfortably with a constant salary hahaha

and I don't know if this dream is possible + I don't really have a solid count of succeeding it as I am not a chaebol loll + I'm not sure about its market in Malaysia too in the next 30yrs time or maybe 40yrs, it's a long way run though + I need a big bunch of money to do it too, I'll have to give up travelling around the world which is what I want to live for, if I happen to succeed and gain a lot of money to do so, I'll already be in my 50s that would be too old to be travelling freely and by that time my parents would be too old to be accompanying me

it's like making me choose between having my good times in my early age OR having a hard time first and achieving great success and enjoy in my old age

but it's not like I'll fail to have a great time when I'm old if I have a great early age experience

just maybe you'll feel that you didn't make something concrete in your life

but it's also not like that too for monash you can travel around the world through exchange programmes right

although it's just that it doesn't suit you by the dream of mine to bring my parents to travel with my own money

but actually up to the point it's actually if I want to live in Korea for the next 5 years or here and there.. yes, it's a pleasure to do so , and I'll able to live in my dream of oppass and stuff hahaha but if I travel, I'll be able to experience a lot and enhance myself right.

(I really love those moments where you actually discover yourself and realize much more than having the thoughts spinning in your head when you are analysing everything out in a blog post before telling you final decision and getting consultant from you mom haha) 

Actually, there's something bothering too if I'm going to have various exchange programme to other countries, it's the cost ma'am! plus, is it really what you like to study commerce haha! you are even dreaming of getting film and theatre rightt (oh ya there's this seoul school of art right!) maybe I could try to get that scholarship hahahaha by that my future would change too miss :P

I am very sure of my future and also very unsure :P well who is making my to vary my dream? the scholarships that I try to get actually

there's pros and cons of going anyway though, I think you can always list pretty well out knowing what would benefit you and you think are great vs what is not really great but interesting and you love it.

well, you only live once you are not do min jun you can't try a variety of stuff you know :P

letting the scholarship decide is not actually bad, it's like a sign of god telling you which route is right for you :P

So, back to the point what I shall do now is to maximise my chance for all 3 routes
1.studying mufy
2.learning korean
3.seoul art uni (scholarship)


heyy you are getting back to the point where you are unsure of everything again xDDD

Sometimes I think I am a lot more mature and had researched my stuffs earlier than others from my same age, it's seriously bothersome to care about those that don't know anything and rant stupid stuff in front of me arghh and sometimes giving them over much of information leading them to overpower me in an instance without effort just because they met me this great friend that don't study that love to do researches ahead xDDDDDD (well because I love the internet, I love writing and reading xD)

okay so maybe I had decided undergrad in monash n phd in yonsei maximising my possibilities yeahh and I'll work in pr field in korea and if I happen to have sufficient money and there is still market in malaysia I will bring my plan up again ^_^ I'll just have to delay and shorten my time at korea hahaha

or during like the december if I happen to get into any audition xDDDDDDDD I'll just try really hard to get seoul art uni then later on aft 5yrs i'll study phd in monash and travel around the world yayyyy then come back kr for pr and earn money and if I have money I will bring up my plan

heyyy! so the problem now is where first, and it will be decided base on scholarship opportunity ^^

SO NOW STUDY FOR SPM TO MAXIMISE THE CHANCES yeahh zou yi bu kan yi bu lohh can de la you have a great plan liao but actually is business or no business oni lahh ok la if monash 1st jiu study cause add 1k oni mahh if sogang 1st jiu don study lo it wouldn't change much right if you study or not rightt dono leh study more is hao shi lai d ahh i think ok dy i think dao liao is need monash 1st!!!! but not so happy liao lo hor but it's for maximising your chance like what you are doing now although not so like right ^v^ okieee
then yonsei for phd lahh then i can work in kr mahh (Y)

okieeeeeee jz if i happen to get in audition jiu terbalik la xD ei it's back to the starting point liao sui ran still mcm no conclusion but its getting clearer dy

EH BACK TO THE POINT WHAT YOU CAN DO NOW
1. study spm
2. try audition
3. study kr
4. learn dance

5. try seoul art
6. see spm try mufy
7. try get monash

8. try get sogang
OK DONE  I have a cute little 1 year check list le ^^ for now what I can do is just spm don't talk le yoo <33 ~~~

+ when holiday that time jiu sell ribbon + bracelets  + ask if can teach + learn kr n dance

OKIE IT'S AN ORGANISED PLAN ADY GO STUDY CAN MAHH WHY YOU NO STUDY I WAN CRY LIAO TT

Tuesday, 26 August 2014

typed these out when memorizing because i was too lazy to write bleh :P going to read cedric's sop nowww

1.kepercayaan kepada tuhan
-keyakinan wujudnya Tuhan sebagai pencipta alam

-mematuhi segala suruhanNya

2.Amanah
-sikap bertanggungjawab
-menimbulkan kepercayaan orang lain

3.Harga diri
-memuliakan maruah diri
-menjaga maruah diri

4.Bertanggungjawab
-memikul tugas
-melaksanakan kewajipan


5.Hemah tinggi
-beradap sopan
-berbudi pekerti mulia

6.Toleransi
-bertolak ansur
-sabar/mengawal diri
7.Kerajinan
-usaha yang berterusan
-ketekunan/kecekalan/dedikasi/kegigihan/berdaya maju

8.Kasih Sayang
-perasaan cinta yang mendalam

-perasaan cinta yang berkekalan

9.Keadilan
-Tindakan dan keputusan yang saksama
-Tidak berat sebelah


10.Kesederhanaan
-Sikap tidak berketerlaluan
-tanpa mengabaikan kepentingan sendiri dan orang lain

11.Rasional
-boleh berfikir
-bertindak wajar

12.Berdikari
-kebolehan melaksanakan sesuatu
-tanpa bergantung kepada orang lain

13.Kasih sayang terhadap keluarga
-perasaan cinta yang mendalam kepada keluarga
-perasaan cinta yang berkekalan kepada keluarga

14.Hormat dan taat kepada anggota keluarga
-memuliakan setiap anggota keluarga
-berinteraksi dan memberi layanan secara bersopan

15.Mengekalkan tradisi kekeluargaan
-menerima kepercayaan yang diwarisi secara turun temurun dalam keluarga
-menghormati adat / mengamalkan kebiasaan

16.Tanggungjawab terhadap keluarga
-kewajipan kepada keluarga
-melahirkan keluarga yang bahagia
-meningkatkan imej keluarga


17.Menyayangi dan menghargai alam sekitar
-memelihara alam sekeliling

-memulihara alam sekeliling

18.Keharmonian antara manusia dengan alam sekitar
-hubungan yang harmonis antara manusia dengan alam sekeliling

-kualiti kehidupan manusia dengan alam sekeliling terpelihara

19.Kemampanan alam sekitar
-pengekalan keseimbangan alam sekeliling

-tanggungjawab bersama
20.Peka terhadap isu-isu alam sekitar
-prihatin terhadap persoalan alam sekeliling

-berusaha menyelesaikannya

21.Cinta akan negara
-perasaan sayang dan bangga terhadap negara
-meletakkan kepentingan negara melebihi kepentingan diri

22.Taat setia kepada raja dan negara
-kepatuhan yang berkekalan kepada raja

-kesetiaan yang berkekalan terhadap negara
23.Sanggup berkorban untuk negara
-kerelaan melakukan atau menyerahkan sesuatu

-sebagai tanda kebaktian kepada negara
24.Melindungi hak kanak-kanak
-membela dan memberi naungan
-memelihara hak kanak-kanak

25.Menghormati hak wanita
-mengiktiraf wanita
-melindungi wanita

26.Melindungi hak pengguna
-memelihara hak individu untuk menjadi pengguna yang bijak
-hak untuk mendapat perkhidmatan danbarangan yang berkualiti dan tidak mudah dieskploitasi

27.Menghormati hak golongan kurang berupaya
-memberi layanan secara bersopan
-mengiktiraf mereka sebagai insan ciptaan Tuhan
28.Melindungi hak pekerja
-menghargai jasa dan sumbangan golongan pekerja
-mengiktiraf jasa dan sumbangan gonglongan pekerja

29.Mematuhi peraturan dan undang-undang
-menerima peraturan
-mematuhi undang-undang

30.Kebebasan bersuara
-kebebasan berucap dengan batasan tertentu
-kebebasan mengeluarkan fikiran dengan batasan tertentu

31.Kebebasan beragama
-kebebasan menganuti agama

-kebebasan mengamalkan agama

32.Sikap keterbukaan
-bersedia memberi pandangan
-sedia menerima pembaharuan

33.Penglibatan diri dalam pembangunan negara
-kebebasan melibatkan diri dalam aktiviti pembangunan negara
-dengan mematuhi peraturan, undang-undang dan Perlembagaan Malaysia


34.Hidup bersama secara aman
-Hidup berbaik-baik antara satu sama lain
-mengutamakan keharmonian

35.Saling membantu dan bekerjasama
-usaha yang baik dan membina
-dilakukan bersama
36.Saling menghormati antara negara
-memuliakan hubungan antara negara
-menghargai hubungan antara negara

Wednesday, 30 July 2014

weeeee~ why am I still stucked here!? haha!

I suddenly got very interested in sogang I think I'll study there just loook~!

http://world.sogang.ac.kr/english/academic/03_under_0125.html

Although I can't really understand the scholarship line.......

http://home.sogang.ac.kr/sites/egoabroad/exchange/predeparture/Pages/Scholarship%20.aspx

hmmm there's actually tonnes of scholarship according to studykr.com

http://sis109.sogang.ac.kr/sap/bc/webdynpro/sap/zcmw9016?sap-language=EN

but I never really understands them hmmm........... anyway half way making up my mind already~! it's famous for its liberal arts... wonder if that links to what I like heh..

actually I also considered busan national uni but I don't know maybe their web is not too informative that I drop that option off? But, I just suddenly have a good feeling towards Sogang its name just........ sounds good? haha! hope I'll stick to it and not regret study time! (always mid night is the study mood time :P

okiee yeorobun jaljayo goodnightt :> ~! `v`

**

oh ya! so I think I'll have my language study at korea university and look out if I can cop inside and if their mass comm pr studies is reputable inside then only transfer tehee okie all the planning is done~! studyyyy! (I think I'll manage my nails first haha)