a loong looong post

Yooo I am backk~

Many things had happened since the last time I post

Well, I got into T4YP at KLPAC and is going for practice every Tuesday and Saturday by LRT and KTM apparently..

Also, I learned that "Doing something valuable" would be my new life aim.

Instead of "Follow your passion" well.. okay it's because I had accepted the fact that my passion doesn't correspond to what I am good at.. 

"Do what you are good at" is also shitty though, cause what I am good as is not what I want to do for the rest of my life though.

"I want to travel the world." It was my childhood dream.
"I want to help people." Something I never picture myself doing it, it was never in my bloodstream.

Maybe it's a destiny, in order to fulfill my dream, I'll have to do something good in exchange.

well, I personally think that other than dealing cocaine, everything is fine to me.

What about being an actress, well it was my dream and I guess I could still continue it part-time as from what I see now.

The first subject that I found I have vast interest in, is International Relations, when I visited Monash.

Then, it somehow developed into PR cause people ask me what the fuk is IR heh.

I almost signed up for IR under the ehwa scholarship cause I was recommended by the Korean embassy, but I mistaken it, it was for Korean studies.'

before that, I almost signed up for PR under Korean government scholarship but it just didn't work out.

They were the darkest moment in my life, WERE, but I guess its all great now.

I got fake hope about being an actress, which I turned myself down to pursue after knowing some insides, not really though.

filming was fun, theatre is hard, but just somehow the future I see for my path went dim..

AANDD just by the time I got all devastated, HUFS came.. with a IDS hahaha

International Diplomatic Scholarship by Hankuk University of Foreign Studies.

WAIT. I haven't really got the scholarship YET.

There will be an interview this Saturday via Skype and a test interview on Friday.

It's Tuesday midnight now, and I am nervous.

I don't find much to prepare and I am scared that I might regret not preparing enough though.

I will try to record myself down on Wednesday.

I tried Skyping with yiqing today though, and I found a great spot and got some 'view' advice from her

That was a pre-pre-interview skype though or a pre-skype interview testing's testing. I don't know what I am talking about please excuse me hahaha

I told them English was my native language, well technically it is I would say.

Although I speak English at home, but I was English Educated and I speak English with my friends.... AT KLPAC.. fkin chs is full of smart arse Chinese speaking people

I ACTUALLY THOUGHT THE WHOLE WORLD KNOWS HOW TO SPEAK CHINESE..
because all races in chs speaks Chinese TT.. I'm doomed, by my ignorance aiks.
Well, it's okay I think my speaking skill is improving but though, I will not say English is my second language since I speak it since small and.. I JUST DON'T THINK IT IS

like gosh, I never learned it externally and I use it since small, I prefer reading and writing in English,  prefer conversing with strangers with English, I have all my examination since Kindergarten with English

JUST BECAUSE I'M FROM A CHINESE FAMILY AND LIVE IN MALAYSIA..

..I think they wouldn't believe me, oh gosh, I must do well in the interview to prove myself.

well, I hope that the interviewer is not American, or with American accent, cause... well, it's not that I dislike it, but yes I dislike it, thanks Joe for influencing me in a... is it a bad way? I DON'T KNOW

Why do I love Caps that much in this post. It feels like I'm shouting the words out and it's cool.

I hope my love to work in International Organizations that provide student exchange programs, volunteering abroad programs would come true though.

I want to work in different regions in the world, and I believe that HUFS would really help me with that, and by being a successful social worker I could make the school proud heh
'sudden thoughts or interview scripts that just pop out from my mouth, no, keyboard, erm.. fingers or nails, I'm using them to type so... let's just get over it hehe

I hope to get a scholarship, and I am applying for it, my mom wants to pay, and her dream of me not getting allowance came true, she wants to pay for me to live in a dorm and her dream came true too,

now I just really hope that I could get IDS, it would be my second life,

yes, after slacking for sooooo long heh.

I didn't really though, just these few weeks after the Penang trip I would say.

I kindna enjoy life, and I think it's great not really 'I could had done more.
Oh no! bro is going to sleep! I am going to be left alone in this dark stormy night! I shall go.. go where? sleep! No! I don't want to! what should I do?

Well, technically, I shut my laptop up went to wash my face and brush my teeth and continued practicing my interview until 7a.m.

now it's 12p.m. and I had just rescued joonie from a hiatus in my bro's room hehee
I'll have to get a blazer for my interview so off I go to prepareeee

(psh I'll make a make up tutorial later to prepare for my interview hahaha

GOD - Road lyrics

Nae-gah ga-nun ee gil-ee uh-deero gah-nun-ji uh-deero nal dae-ryuh-gah-nun-ji gu go-sun uh-deen-ji...
I don't know where this road is going... where it's taking me.

al su upjiman... al su upjiman... al su upjiman...
Though I don't know, Though I don't know, Though I don't know

oh-nuhl-do nan guh-ro-ga-go een-nae...
I seem to be walking the road again today.


Saram-duh-run gil-ee da jung-hae-jyo een-nun-ji ah-ni-myon
Do people have roads already, and if not,

 jah-gi-ga ja-shin-ae-gi-rul man-duh-ruh gah-nun-ji... do they make the roads they go on?

al su upjiman... al su upjiman... al su upjiman...
Though I don't know, Though I don't know, Though I don't know

ee-roh-kkae ttoh guh-roh-gah-go een-ne...
I seem to be walking the road again like this.




 Nah-nun wae ee-gil-ee suh-een-na ee-gae jung-mahl nah-ae gil-eel-ka...
Why do I stand on this road? Is this really my road?

ee-gil-ae kuh-tae-so nae kku-mun ee-roh-jil-ka...
Will my dreams be on the end of this road?




Mu-o-shi nae-gae jung-mal gee-pu-mul joo-nun-ji...
What will really bring me happiness?

dohn een-ji.. myong-in-ji.. ah-ni-myon nae-ga sarang-ha-nun saram-duhl-in-ji..
Money? Honor? If not, the people I love.

ahl-goh ship-ji-man... ahl-goh ship-jim-an... ahl-goh ship-ji-man...
Though I want to know, Though I want to know, Though I want to know
 
ah-jeek-do da-bul nae-ril-su up-nae...
I still can't choose my answer.




Ja-shin-ee-kkae na-ae gil-ee-gah-go.. mal-ha-go.. ship-go guh-ruhl-kkae meet-go
I want to say this is my path with pride

doh-ah-boh-ji ahn-kko... hoo-hae-do hah-jee an-kko...
I want to trust that and not regret

gut-goh ship-jiman... gut-goh ship-jiman... gut-goh ship-jiman...
Though I want to walk like that, Though I want to walk like that, Though I want to walk like that

ah-jik-do nah-nun ja-shin ee up-nae...
I still don't have that pride yet





Nah-nun wae ee-gil-ee suh-een-na ee-gae jung-mal na-ae gil-il-ka...
Why do I stand on this road? Is this really my road?
 
ee-gil-re kuh-tae-so nae kkum-un ee-roh-jil-ka...
Will my dreams be on the end of this road?




Nah-nun mu-oh-sul-kum kkoo-nuhn-ga... guh-gohn noo-gul wi-han kkum-il-ka...
What am I dreaming? Is this a dream I want?

gah kku-mul ee-ruh-myon nahn oo-sul-su ee-ssul-kka...
If I live that dream, will I be able to laugh?

o~ ji-gum-nae-ga... uh-di-ro... uh-di-ro... ga-nun guhl-kka...
Where am I walking now?

nah-nun mu-oh-sul wi-hae... sara-ya... sara-ya-man ha-nun-ga...
What is this that I'm living for?

nah-nun wae ee-gil-ae suh-ee-na
Why do I stand on this road? Is this really my road?
 
ee-gae jung mahl nae gil ee kkah
Will my dreams be on the end of this road?

ee-gil-re kuh-tae-so nae kku-mun ee-roh-jil-ka
What am I dreaming? Is this a dream I want?

Nah-nun mu-oh-sul-kum kkoo-nuhn-ga guh-gohn noo-gul wi-han kum-il-ka
If I live that dream,

guh-kkum-ul ee-ruh-myon nah-do oo-sul-su ee-ssul-kka
will I be able to laugh?


Well, I had just copy and modified the pattern of the lyrics (will add Hangul to it soon!) because this song portrayed my feelings now accurately and well also because I love god and the song a lot hehe

will further modify the lyrics and add colors to it off to do my Korean language homeworkkkkkkk!

Slacking so....

Well banana peals or whatsover keke

So I'm currently learning korean in klh, trying to audition to go into KLPAC's T4YP 

filming for short films and working some part-time job to earn some pocket money

 and get free samples xD

 

 well I had just created a Ssyannelf blogspot to secure that nobody would steal my domain ahaha

 

why? because I want to record my life in Korea in words with pictures and also to upload my videos in youtube :P

 

wow I sound so sure that I could go to Korea ahaha well I hope so and I'm living like I surely can go now

 

so please don't dissapoint me god TT

 

I'm currently working hard to apply for KNUA's AMA Scholarship weee

 

and I super duper hope I could get it cause it's my childhood dream to be an actress

 

like I choose PR last time because it's close to celebrity

 

but well my real dream is to become one because I LOVE acting

 

and dancing too ( I'm just a poor bathroom singer sorry ahaha

 

well and here it comes an once in a life-time chance infront me to pursue my dream

 

woooo! thanks knua! hahaha (if I manage to get in or not rawr

 

well I shall not slack now tmr is thursday then friday (the only 2 days left to study because I wasted yesterday n today xD

 

monday I went to film as some side character

 

(all I did was having fun dancing in the club xD

 

or also could be said as I went for clubbing in the morning ahaha

 

(with le buddy accompanying me thanks!

 

Saturday I will be going to learn to drive and I'll use my afternoon free time to prepare for my audition in the Sunday

 

Sunday I will study korean and go for KLPAC's T4YP Audition~

 

then next week I'll study for Korean and my undang test.. hope everything goes well!

 

and oh ya my friend called me to cast for his new shortfilm yayy! although I'm not the lead xD

 

He says that that character suits me so <3

 

nowadays I always dream about being hug really tightly by someone

 

I think it's some reflection from my real life but I still can't figure it out hmm

 

or maybe I'm just despo for hug since my big doggy is not here to hug me anymore TT

 

well going to cut my nails and start studying again!

 

gonna update here once in awhile and if I get to go korea I will change to the ssyannelf blog to update purely on my life there!

 

(nonsense will still be posted here xD 'i guess' keke

 

ok keumman annyeong~!